As a disclaimer at the beginning here, I have no intention of totally answering this question. The question is more of a prompt for exploration purposes.
I’ve been given a good deal to discern recently and it is difficult to find the peace that surpasses all understanding in the confusion. Simply, where is Christ in the confusion and decision making? I appear to be at a crossroad of sorts, with 4 roads in front of me, “Which one would You have me go down Lord?” This question seems to be soaked into the walls of my brain. It isn’t echoing, or ringing, rather it is just there getting deeper and more entrenched.
Can the question be the problem? I think that’s a fairly easy thing to ascertain. Is asking that question bringing peace? No. Then let’s stop asking it. “But Elie, why would you stop asking the Lord what His will is for your life?” Ah, dearest reader if you though that you assumed that “stop asking it.” entails a total ceasing of such seeking. One of the earliest things that my spiritual director told me was to not discern your vocation on a daily basis. (I understand that the Lord is always revealing things about our vocation I mean in the sense of letting that absorb every time of prayer with the Lord daily.) It is very easy to become engrossed in some need to know what to do, this leads to an idolization of vocation over our Lord. Isn’t that something? The Devil can use our desire to do the Lord’s will for his own nefarious purposes. Ridiculous. It is in these times of discernment that continued surrender is crucial, namely a surrendering of pride.
Pride is the thing that seems to always sneak in somehow. I can go into a conversation thinking that I am justified in thought and action, then upon reflection after the fact realize that I was acting out of a disordered self interest. It is the first thing that becomes cloaked by the world, flesh, and the evil one, because from it other evils sprout. It is this very reason that it must constantly be killed by surrender to Him Who Is. When are we most vulnerable to the alluring scent of pride? When we must make a choice, when it is easiest for us to assert our way as the right way. It is only in a surrender of this pride that we even begin to truly open ourselves up to what the Lord desires for our life, the thing that will make us truly happy.
So what does this have to do with Peace? Everything! I capitalize “Peace” there to show that it is in reference to Christ rather than simply the word peace, for He is Peace in the fullness. His Spirit, the Holy Spirit in the most intimate way possible will dwells within all us who may speak the privileged truth that we are baptized in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This same Spirit is Peace. When we are in accordance with the Lord’s will we allow for a fuller dwelling of the Spirit within us. It is for this reason why our blessed Lady has the most intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit above all other creatures as she did the will of the Father perfectly. But not to get off track, peace is found in doing His will. So it would seem we are back to square one, right? Not quite.
The Lord wants to set us up for success. He wants to be with us, He will make His will known, if only we let Him speak. An obsession of knowing now is comical when referring to God Who is outside of time. He speaks to us, we either don’t listen or are not yet able to receive. We will know when it is time, seek the Lord and He will reveal Himself and His will in His time.
Again, I do not mean to sound infallible. I am quite fallible, probably more fallible than most. If something really just doesn’t seem in line with the Catholic faith, let me know! Please know of my prayers for you and your loved ones, God bless!
P.S. I may run out of artsy nature photos within a few posts, but eventually there will be featured pictures that aren’t just nature…probably.